When you are working with a group of parents and you ask "For how many of you is bed time or getting out of the house in the morning a challenge?" you will see most hands go up.
But when I ask, "how many of you have asked your children to develop their own bedtime or morning routine?" far less hands are in the air.
We are all different and we all know how wildly differently people can approach the same project. Sometimes the arguments can be put aside by simply allowing your child to tell you how they think they can best approach it. The same goes for youth workers. Instead of an ongoing argument about how the group does something, let them tell you how they need to do it! They may surprise you!
Imagine your 8 year old, who you struggle with every morning to get out of bed and out the door. If you said to him or her, " I am tired of us arguing in the morning, so I have a new idea..." Then you tell him "you need to get up, shower and brush your teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast and get your backpack packed by 7:45. Here is an alarm clock. I will be waiting for you at 7:45 at the door." What time do you think they would set it to? What challenges might they face getting there? Well sit back and watch. Maybe you add... "I will give you three days to show me you can do it and if you can't I set the routine again".
Can you let go for three days to let your child learn on their own? Can you allow them to take the consequence if they are late to school? Can you talk it through compassionately if the first day goes a awry, focusing on what went right (if only it was one thing) and let them come up with the ideas of what to try differently? Now that is positive youth development in action!
We ask teenagers to do this all the time (and sometimes they are tougher to get up!). However, with younger children we tend to try to keep teaching them based on our routines. The Montessori philosophy teaches time management skills early on. I believe it is such an important life skill and key to being a great student and employee.And I think those same techniques can be applied at home.
Just something to think about.
But when I ask, "how many of you have asked your children to develop their own bedtime or morning routine?" far less hands are in the air.
We are all different and we all know how wildly differently people can approach the same project. Sometimes the arguments can be put aside by simply allowing your child to tell you how they think they can best approach it. The same goes for youth workers. Instead of an ongoing argument about how the group does something, let them tell you how they need to do it! They may surprise you!
Imagine your 8 year old, who you struggle with every morning to get out of bed and out the door. If you said to him or her, " I am tired of us arguing in the morning, so I have a new idea..." Then you tell him "you need to get up, shower and brush your teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast and get your backpack packed by 7:45. Here is an alarm clock. I will be waiting for you at 7:45 at the door." What time do you think they would set it to? What challenges might they face getting there? Well sit back and watch. Maybe you add... "I will give you three days to show me you can do it and if you can't I set the routine again".
We ask teenagers to do this all the time (and sometimes they are tougher to get up!). However, with younger children we tend to try to keep teaching them based on our routines. The Montessori philosophy teaches time management skills early on. I believe it is such an important life skill and key to being a great student and employee.And I think those same techniques can be applied at home.
Just something to think about.
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