"Kids need to think you care, before they can care what you think"
Did you know that in all of the studies of resiliency (be it abuse, drug use, a broken home, a traumatic experience or other risk factor) there is one common factor that all survivors have? What is it?!
Positive adult relationships with non-parental adults. Who was that adult you were always able to talk to? Or who as an adult you can look back and see that they played a really important role in your life?
So how do we show kids we care? It is easy to tell young people we care, but whether you work with young people or have a child in your life you care a great deal about... actions speak louder than words. Here are some suggestions based on 4 of the 40 Assets.
- Set clear boundaries and expectations. But more importantly... discuss why those boundaries are in place. And when you have set an expectation make sure to continue the discussion as to what the child did themselves to meet the expectation or what they could do differently to meet it.
- Show them that you value them as a resource. Ask their opinion and thoughts... even advice. Asking young people what they would do in your situation often provides us with a refreshing perspective. Give them opportunities for genuine involvement, if not the chance to lead a project or activity or share a skill. Finding time to let them teach you something or plan an outing can be a great opportunity. you may be the only person that day or week to ask what they think or feel.
- Engage them in service to others. Finding volunteer opportunities for young people with organizations can be challenging due to age requirements. Why not take some time and ask them what issues they want to learn about or get involved in? And then work together to find a creative way to get involved.
- Help build a positive view of their future. A three year old told me today to "always follow my dreams". Clearly he's getting the message.
